Funny Political Pics, Political Jokes, Political Satire, Political Cartoons, Political Stories, Videos

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Political Roast: President George Bush Bloopers

These are some of the funniest bloopers from
President George W. Bush, the 43rd President of the United States.
It is hard to image that he was President after watching these videos! Nice job Republicans!

George bush bloopers
This is george bush. (i think hes drunk)

We salute you George Bush...You tried.....Goodbye
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Monday, December 29, 2008

Sen. Craig restroom tanking as tourist destination


BOISE, Idaho – The men's room at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport where Republican Sen. Larry Craig was arrested in a sex sting is losing it appeal as a tourist stop, an official said.

"We're getting there," said Patrick Hogan, director of public affairs for the Metropolitan Airports Commission. "I think we'll all be glad when there's no special interest in that restroom."

Craig was accused of soliciting sex in the bathroom in June 2007 and pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct in August 2007.

One person had offered to buy the restroom stall for $5,000, Hogan said, but airport officials "don't sell fixtures for novelty purposes."

Though tourist interest has withered, the surge of publicity from Craig's arrest helped end the type of activity in the restroom that had prompted lewd-conduct complaints, he said.

Plans to modify the restroom to prevent occupants from passing signals were scrapped because complaints dropped.

"It is the busiest restroom at Minneapolis-St. Paul International," Hogan told The Spokesman-Review. "It's right in the middle of our main thoroughfare."

Craig — who has maintained his innocence and heterosexuality — has said he only pleaded guilty to keep the embarrassing situation quiet. He attempted to withdraw his guilty plea but the Minnesota Court of Appeals earlier this month rejected the appeal.

Craig, who said he was considering another appeal, did not seek re-election in last month's election for the seat he has held for 18 years. He will be replaced in January by Idaho Lt. Gov. Jim Risch, a Republican.

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Political Roast's 2008 Political Blunders

Well 2008 was full of political blunders by Sarah Palin, Joe Biden, Jeese Jackson,Eliot Spitzer and all of our other favorite publicly elected comedians.

Here are some great videos to reflect on this stellar year in American Politics!

This is the classic embrassing moment: Jeese Jackson talking about Barack Obama-Jeese Jackson thinking the microphone was off and saying " I want to cut his nuts off!" Wow, oops!
Republican Sarah Palin has too many to list blunders, here are a few.
Sarah Palin getting tricked by Canadian Comedians. The comedian pretends to be President Nicolas Sarkozy of France!
The Sarah Palin-Katie Couric interview, which featured one laughable gaffe after the next, including Palin's failure to think of any Supreme Court decisions other than Roe v. Wade ...

John McCain made a huge mistake and stood up David Letterman. He told Letterman he was canceling his appearance on the show because he had to fly to Washington, and then showed up instead for an interview with Katie Couric, Letterman mocked him mercilessly. "Hey John!" Letterman shouted as he aired the live CBS feed of the interview for his audience. "I've got a question: You need a lift to the airport?" It got even uglier for McCain, with Letterman saying: "This is not the way a tested hero behaves. Somebody's putting something in his Metamucil":

A Huge mistake by Joe Biden. Sen. Joe Biden, D-Delaware, told Missouri State Senator Chuck Graham to stand up. Graham is confined to a wheelchair.

Don't forget Govenor Eliot Spitzer has quickly become the butt of many late-night jokes. On Tuesday, he was the focus of The Late Show with David Letterman's Top Ten list, about messages Spitzer has on his answer machine now.


There are hours more of funny political video and jokes(which you can find a ton on Political Roast), but i thought these were very funny.

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Sunday, December 28, 2008

Late Night Political Jokes: A Political Roast--week of 12/23/08



"Barack Obama is on vacation in Hawaii right now. And today many newspapers carried pictures of a shirtless Obama playing in the ocean. Did you see that? Yeah. So as you're thinking of things to be thankful for this holiday, remember, that could have been a shirtless John McCain." --Conan O'Brien

"The White House staff has been briefing Barack Obama's team on a series of worst-case scenarios that could face the country after President Bush leaves office. That's the latest. Yeah. Apparently, the absolute worst case scenario is that Bush doesn't leave office." --Conan O'Brien

"What a rough crowd last night. Rough, they were surly. They were quiet. I'm telling you. It was quiet in here. It was like a Lehman Brothers Christmas party.
The suburbs are cold also. Up in Chappaqua, Bill and Hillary accidentally got into the same bed. It's that cold." --David Letterman

"Insider tip. How many folks still have cars? Anybody here still have a car? You know, you can turn them in, take them in to Washington and they'll give you your money back. And Ford Motors, by God, Ford Motors is working on a brand new car called the Fusion. It's a hybrid and runs on a combination of gas and bailout money."

"One percent of Americans participating in this poll believe believe Dick Cheney is the best Vice President ever. Everybody else in the poll believes that that one percent should be wearing funny hats." --David Letterman


"The shoe-tossing guy in Iraq, you know, he wrote a letter to President Bush and he apologized. He said, 'Dear president Bush, I'm sorry I threw a shoe at you.' And I was thinking, wait a minute. When is President Bush going to apologize for invading Iraq?" --David Letterman

"It is freezing everywhere. It was so cold in Washington, even Bill and Hillary were snuggling." --Jay Leno

"It was so cold in Alaska, somebody is putting chapstick on a pig." --Jay Leno

"President-elect Barack Obama and his family are in Hawaii this week. To which President Bush said, 'You know, I prefer spending my Christmases right here in the United States.'" --Jay Leno

"Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger said in an interview on '60 Minutes' on Sunday that, if the Constitution allowed it, he would like to run for president. Yeah. Yeah. There's a switch, a Republican being stopped by the Constitution, when does that ever happen?" --Jay Leno

"The largest donor at the Clinton library turns out to be Saudi Arabia. Yeah. Well, some critics argue that such close financial ties to the Mideast could be a conflict of interest. However, Hillary Clinton says she will not advocate Arab policies. Except, you know, the practice of stoning adulterers." --Jay Leno

"NBC is showing, once again, the classic movie 'It's a Wonderful Life.' See, it is so different today. See, when they made that movie, back then, the government actually asked banks to account for what money was missing." --Jay Leno


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Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Political Roast: Late Night Political Jokes




"You folks around the country probably know this, but here in New York City it's freezing cold. It's so cold today that that Bernie Madoff is actually looking forward to burning in hell." --David Letterman

"It's so cold today President Bush was ducking ski boots." --David Letterman

"Today is the second day of Hanukkah. John McCain made an appearance with Joe the Rabbi." --David Letterman

"In a recent interview, President Bush says that he's already begun thinking about his farewell speech. Yeah, which means he's only two years behind most Americans." --Conan O'Brien

"According to the Wall Street Journal, this is interesting, many of the people Barack Obama has appointed to his cabinet are excellent basketball players. Except for Hillary Clinton, who prefers lacrosse or field hockey." --Conan O'Brien

"In a new interview, Barack Obama says he plans on having a lot of jazz and classical music at the White House. After hearing this, President Bush said, 'I'd better go break the bad news to the Wiggles.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Bernie Madoff has been charged with swindling people out of $50 billion. I don't want to say he's unpopular, but today as he was walking in New York, he passed a manger scene and Joseph threw a sandal at him." --Jay Leno

"Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich says he will not fill Barack Obama's seat any time soon. He says he's going to wait until next summer when prices improve." --Jay Leno

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Political Roast:Late Night Political Jokes Conan O'Brien


"This week President Bush hosted the annual White House Hanukkah party. Yeah, there was an awkward moment when Bush made a wish and blew out all eight candles." --Conan O'Brien

Time magazine has selected their person of the year. Guess what, it's President-elect Barack Obama. Yeah, ironically, Ebony magazine announced their person of the year, and it's Ed Begley Jr." --Conan O'Brien

"Gay leaders are furious at Barack Obama because he picked an anti-gay minister to deliver a prayer during the inauguration ceremony. Yeah. Gay leaders are also furious at Obama because the tie he's planning to wear is all wrong." --Conan O'Brien

"President Bush is hosting a lunch next month with President-elect Obama and all the former presidents. Isn't that cool? Yeah. Bush said, 'I invited all 43 guys, but only four responded.' He doesn't know what happened." --Conan O'Brien

"According to a new survey that just came out, the most admired profession is doctor. Doctor is the most admired profession. Yeah. The least admired profession? Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich's barber." --Conan O'Brien

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Monday, December 22, 2008

Political Roast:Late Night Jokes Jay Leno-Dec.18,2008


"I tell you, the economy's rough. People are standing behind President Bush just to get the free shoes." --Jay Leno

"It was so cold in Chicago, Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich was trying to sell Senate seat warmers." --Jay Leno

"And it snowed in Malibu. That is unbelievable, isn't it? Yeah. Five inches of snow in Malibu, where people aren't used to snow. They were trying to snort it. They didn't understand. The roads were closed in Malibu. In fact, there was so much snow, a lot of celebrities couldn't get to the global warming conference." --Jay Leno

"And the big financial story, Bernard Madoff, the man they call the most hated man in New York, as you know, has been arrested after confessing to running this Ponzi scheme that defrauded investors out of $50 billion. That's almost hard to believe. But the good news, today he was named A.I.G.'s man of the year." --Jay Leno

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Saturday, December 20, 2008

The 25 Dumbest Quotes of 2008-Idiotic Political Quotes



25. "I'll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office." —President George W. Bush, in an interview with the Jerusalem Post, Washington, D.C., May 12, 2008

24. "I've now been in 57 states — I think one left to go." —Barack Obama, at a campaign event in Beaverton, Oregon, May 9, 2008

23. "[T]hey're in charge of the U.S. Senate so if they want to they can really get in there with the senators and make a lot of good policy changes that will make life better for Brandon and his family and his classroom." —Sarah Palin, getting the vice president's constitutional role wrong after being asked by a third grader what the vice president does, interview with NBC affiliate KUSA in Colorado, Oct. 21, 2008



22. "There was an energy bill on the floor of the Senate loaded down with goodies, billions for the oil companies, and it was sponsored by Bush and Cheney. You know who voted for it? You might never know. That one." —John McCain, referring to Barack Obama during the second presidential debate, Nashville, Tennessee, Oct. 7, 2008

21. "Stand up, Chuck, let 'em see ya." —Joe Biden, to Missouri state Sen. Chuck Graham, who is in a wheelchair, Columbia, Missouri, Sept. 12, 2008

20. "When I was in college, we used to take a popcorn popper, because that was the only thing they would let us use in the dorm, and we would fry squirrels in a popcorn popper in the dorm room." —Mick Huckabee, interview on MSNBC's "Morning Joe," Jan. 16, 2008

19. "See, Barack's been talking down to black people on this faith-based...I want to cut his nuts off." —Jesse Jackson, caught on an open mic whispering to a colleague about Barack Obama, whom he was criticizing for lecturing African Americans about taking more responsibility for raising children, July 6, 2008

18. "We all remember Bobby Kennedy was assassinated in June in California." —Hillary Clinton, rejecting calls for her to drop out of the Democratic presidential race, citing the 1968 assassination of Robert F. Kennedy as evidence that the lengthy Democratic nominating process was not unprecedented, interview with the editorial board of South Dakota's Sioux Falls Argus-Leader, May 23, 2008

17. "I think when you spread the wealth around, it's good for everybody." —Barack Obama, defending his tax plan to Joe the Plumber, who argued that Obama's policy hurts small-business owners like himself, Toledo, Ohio, Oct. 12, 2008

16. (tie) "So?" —Vice President Dick Cheney, responding to an ABC News correspondent who cited a poll showing that most Americans do not believe the Iraq War was worth fighting, March 19, 2008

And:

"So what?" –President Bush, responding to a an ABC News correspondent who pointed out that Al Qaeda wasn't a threat in Iraq until after the U.S. invaded, Dec. 14, 2008

15. "For the first time in my adult lifetime I am really proud of my country. And not just because Barack has done well, but because I think people are hungry for change." —Michelle Obama, Madison, Wisconsin, Feb. 18, 2008

14. "You know, I think you may have noticed that Senator Obama's supporters have been saying some pretty nasty things about Western Pennsylvania lately. And you know, I couldn't agree with them more. I couldn't disagree with you. I couldn't agree with you more than the fact that Western Pennsylvania is the most patriotic, most god-loving, most, most patriotic part of America, and this is a great part of the country." —John McCain Moon Township, Penn., Oct. 21, 2008

13. "Make it a hundred...That would be fine with me." –John McCain, to a questioner who asked if he supported President Bush's vision for keeping U.S. troops in Iraq for 50 years, Derry, New Hampshire, Jan. 3, 2008

12. "We have sort of become a nation of whiners." —McCain economic adviser Phil Gramm, on worries about the slumping economy, adding that the current downturn is a "mental recession," Washington Times interview, July 9, 2008

11. "Can I explain to you what happened? First of all it happened during a period after she was in remission from cancer." —former Sen. John Edwards, on cheating on his wife, ABC News interview, Aug. 8, 2008

10. "I think — I'll have my staff get to you. It's condominiums where — I'll have them get to you." —John McCain after being asked how many houses he and his wife, Cindy, own, interview with Politico, Las Cruces, N.M., Aug. 20, 2008

9. "Hillary Clinton is as qualified or more qualified than I am to be vice president of the United States of America. Quite frankly, it might have been a better pick than me." —Joe Biden, speaking at a town hall meeting in Nashua, New Hampshire, Sept. 10, 2008

8. "We believe that the best of America is not all in Washington, D.C. ... We believe that the best of America is in these small towns that we get to visit, and in these wonderful little pockets of what I call the real America, being here with all of you hard working very patriotic, um, very, um, pro-America areas of this great nation." —Sarah Palin, speaking at a fundraiser in Greensoboro, N.C., Oct. 16, 2008

7. "Goodbye from the world's biggest polluter." –President George W. Bush, in parting words to British Prime Minister Gordon Brown and French President Nicolas Sarkozy at his final G-8 Summit, punching the air and grinning widely as the two leaders looked on in shock, Rusutsu, Japan, July 10, 2008

6. "It's not surprising, then, they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations." –Barack Obama, speaking at a San Francisco fundraiser about his troubles winning over some small-town, working-class voters, April 11, 2008

5. "Well, let's see. There's — of course in the great history of America there have been rulings that there's never going to be absolute consensus by every American, and there are those issues, again, like Roe v. Wade, where I believe are best held on a state level and addressed there. So, you know, going through the history of America, there would be others but —" —Sarah Palin, unable to name a Supreme Court decision she disagreed with other than Roe vs. Wade, interview with Katie Couric, CBS News, Oct. 1, 2008

4. "I remember landing under sniper fire. There was supposed to be some kind of a greeting ceremony at the airport, but instead we just ran with our heads down to get into the vehicles to get to our base." –Hillary Clinton on visiting Bosnia in 1996, contradicting other accounts that said there was no threat of gunfire. Clinton later said she "misspoke"

3. "As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where– where do they go? It's Alaska. It's just right over the border." —Sarah Palin, explaining why Alaska's proximity to Russia gives her foreign policy experience, interview with CBS's Katie Couric, Sept. 24, 2008

2. "I'm just not giving it up for f***in' nothing. I'm not gonna do it. And, and I can always use it. I can parachute me there." ... "Give this motherf****r Obama his senator? F**k him. For nothing. F**k him.'" —Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich, recorded in a federal wiretap trying to sell Barack Obama's Senate seat. The day before his arrest, he invited authorities to tape his conversations, saying there is "nothing but sunshine hanging over me."

1. "Our economy, I think, is still — the fundamentals of our economy are strong." —John McCain, Jacksonville, Fla., Sept. 15, 2008

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With the economy in shambles - Congress gives itself a raise


Washington - A crumbling economy, more than 2 million constituents who have lost their jobs this year, and congressional demands of CEOs to work for free did not convince lawmakers to freeze their own pay.
Instead, they will get a $4,700 pay increase, amounting to an additional $2.5 million that taxpayers will spend on congressional salaries, and watchdog groups are not happy about it. More...
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Friday, December 19, 2008

Barely Political-BLAGOJEVICH SELLS MORE STUFF!


Another Funny Video from Barely Political BLAGOJEVICH SELLS MORE STUFF!
Read More To Watch Video!


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To The Rescue: Bush to Give Low-Interest Loans to GM and Chrysler


The White House has decided to come to the rescue of General Motors and Chrysler by providing them with $17.4 billion in low-interest loans to keep them afloat, ABC News has learned.

The money for the loans will come from the Troubled Asset Relief Program fund, signed into law this fall to bail out the financial industry. The president will provide $13.4 billion in short-term financing in December and January and plans to make another $4 billion available in February, provided it can reach into the second half of the $700 billion TARP fund to do so.

The deal also includes as a non-binding "target" a key provisions, including making work rules and wages competitive with workers at foreign car companies in the U.S.

Chrysler CEO Bob Nardelli issued a statement saying the company was grateful for the helping hand and that, "Chrysler is committed to meeting these requirements."

Pressure had been building for President Bush to act. Chrysler temporarily shut down all of its plants earlier this week to save money, and GM delayed construction on a new plant for the same reason. And House Speaker Nancy Pelosi urged Bush on Thursday to make a decision because the nation's weakened economy could not risk a massive wave of layoffs.

"This is a difficult time for a free-market person," Bush said Thursday. "Under ordinary circumstances, failed entities, failing entities should be allowed to fail. I have concluded these are not ordinary circumstances, for a lot of reasons... We got to the point where if a major institution were to fail, there is great likelihood that there'd be a ripple effect throughout the world, and the average person would be really hurt."

Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson told a business forum in New York Thursday night it was too risky to simply let the automakers fail.

"When you look at the size of this industry and look at all those that it touches in terms of suppliers and dealers… it would seem to be an imprudent risk to take," he said....More

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Political Roast-The Late Show Joke-David Letterman


How about that guy that heaved his shoes at the president? Of course, everybody is saying well, what happened to the Secret Service? Good question. Where is the Secret Service? From now on, alright, take off your shoes. It's going to be that way. You want to see the president? Alright, slip out of those shoes." --David Letterman

"It turns out this guy was described as a hot head. He's a guy who is an Iraqi journalist. They say he's a hot head with poor journalistic skills. Well, no surprise, today he was offered his own show on Fox News." --David Letterman

"But I've got to give President Bush credit for this, because he's taking it all pretty well. He says that he's actually happy about the shoe-throwing episode, because he says it proves finally that Iraq does, in fact, possess foot wear of mass destruction." --David Letterman

"I don't know. Listen to this, ladies and gentlemen. Here's something that happened. The Electoral College has officially elected Barack Obama as president of the United States. I don't know anything about politics or elections, but boy, it's really starting to look bad for John McCain." --David Letterman

Political Roast-Late Night Jokes-Jay Leno




"As you know, the Bush administration has a new slogan: 'Duck!'" --Jay Leno

"As you know, President Bush took a surprise trip to Baghdad over the weekend and had a press conference with the Iraqi premier. A reporter threw his shoes at him, almost hit him. And the guy who threw the shoes, this guy was so angry, he was so anti-Bush, at first people just assumed he was an American journalist, but no." --Jay Leno

"In fact, to give you an idea how bad the economy is in Iraq, the shoes that were thrown at Bush came from Payless." --Jay Leno

"And it's not just President Bush, today somebody threw a pair of shoes at Sarah Palin. And she was very upset. She said, 'Do you have these in black?' and threw them back." --Jay Leno

"And this is the big news in New York. Well, all over the world, really. It's just an amazing story. A Wall Street tycoon named Bernard Madoff has been arrested for running a $50 billion Ponzi scheme. $50 billion. You know what a Ponzi scheme is? That's where they use the money of new investors to pay off the older investors. Or as we call it, Social Security." --Jay Leno

"But you know something? Shouldn't the first clue have been the guy's name? Madoff, you know, as in 'made off with the money,' you know? I mean, who were his partners, Pilfered and Swindled?" --Jay Leno

"And you can tell, President Bush, you know, he's not a financial guy. God bless him, but he doesn't understand anything. Like, when they tried to explain the Ponzi scheme, he said, 'Wait a minute, Ponzi, you're confusing two people. It's either Potsy or Fonzie.'" --Jay Leno

"The economy is in bad shape. I went shopping over the weekend. I got an Illinois Senate seat for $149. Amazing, marked down from half a million." --Jay Leno

"And it's not just here in America. Queen Elizabeth has announced that the economy is so bad in England, she is asking all members of the royal family to reduce their spending, otherwise, they would face the ultimate disaster, you know, having to get a real job." --Jay Leno

"God forbid, they don't want to do that. And in New Jersey, the state Senate is working on a bill to legalize medical marijuana. They say it's the one thing that could actually ease the pain of having to live in New Jersey, so that's good." --Jay Leno

"And a big surprise on the Sunday morning news shows. Senator John McCain said he may not support Sarah Palin if she's around in 2012. Of course, the bigger question, will McCain be around in 2012? That's probably the bigger question, but hey." --Jay Leno

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"As you know, the Bush administration has a new slogan: 'Duck!'" --Jay Leno



"As you know, President Bush took a surprise trip to Baghdad over the weekend and had a press conference with the Iraqi premier. A reporter threw his shoes at him, almost hit him. And the guy who threw the shoes, this guy was so angry, he was so anti-Bush, at first people just assumed he was an American journalist, but no." --Jay Leno



"In fact, to give you an idea how bad the economy is in Iraq, the shoes that were thrown at Bush came from Payless." --Jay Leno



"And it's not just President Bush, today somebody threw a pair of shoes at Sarah Palin. And she was very upset. She said, 'Do you have these in black?' and threw them back." --Jay Leno



"And this is the big news in New York. Well, all over the world, really. It's just an amazing story. A Wall Street tycoon named Bernard Madoff has been arrested for running a $50 billion Ponzi scheme. $50 billion. You know what a Ponzi scheme is? That's where they use the money of new investors to pay off the older investors. Or as we call it, Social Security." --Jay Leno







"But you know something? Shouldn't the first clue have been the guy's name? Madoff, you know, as in 'made off with the money,' you know? I mean, who were his partners, Pilfered and Swindled?" --Jay Leno



"And you can tell, President Bush, you know, he's not a financial guy. God bless him, but he doesn't understand anything. Like, when they tried to explain the Ponzi scheme, he said, 'Wait a minute, Ponzi, you're confusing two people. It's either Potsy or Fonzie.'" --Jay Leno



"The economy is in bad shape. I went shopping over the weekend. I got an Illinois Senate seat for $149. Amazing, marked down from half a million." --Jay Leno



"And it's not just here in America. Queen Elizabeth has announced that the economy is so bad in England, she is asking all members of the royal family to reduce their spending, otherwise, they would face the ultimate disaster, you know, having to get a real job." --Jay Leno



"God forbid, they don't want to do that. And in New Jersey, the state Senate is working on a bill to legalize medical marijuana. They say it's the one thing that could actually ease the pain of having to live in New Jersey, so that's good." --Jay Leno



"And a big surprise on the Sunday morning news shows. Senator John McCain said he may not support Sarah Palin if she's around in 2012. Of course, the bigger question, will McCain be around in 2012? That's probably the bigger question, but hey." --Jay Leno



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Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Political Roast-Late Night Political Jokes 12/15/08













"Right now, they're trying to find out, they arrested the guy, trying to find out if he's a Shoe-ni or a Shoe-ite. But it's the same old story. You hear this over and over again, a guy, this crazy guy, goes into a Payless store, he purchases a pair of Rockport shoes, and they didn't even do a background check on him." --David Letterman

"Well, folks, looks like we finally found something President Bush is good at. Dodgeball!" --Jay Leno

"As you know, yesterday in Iraq, President Bush was attacked by a 'shoe-icide' bomber. President Bush was speaking at a news conference in Iraq when a journalist threw two shoes at him [on screen: the video of Bush having shoes thrown at him]. You see what President Bush did? You see what he did to keep from being hit? Something he's never done before. Lean to the left. He's never done that." --Jay Leno

"You got to admit, whatever you think of the guy, he's got good reflexes. Even Bill Clinton was impressed. You know, Clinton's an expert at ducking shoes, ashtrays, lamps. Everything." --Jay Leno

"You've got to give Bush credit. I mean, the guy moved pretty quickly. ... Too bad he didn't react that way with bin Laden or Katrina, bin Laden or the mortgage crisis, bin Laden or Afghanistan, bin Laden or the Lehman Brothers." --David Letterman

I don't think Bush really has dodged anything like that, well, since the Vietnam War." --David Letterman

"Yesterday, at a press conference in Baghdad, an angry Iraqi threw his shoes at President Bush's head. Yeah, when he saw the shoes, President Bush said, 'See, I knew you guys had weapons of mass destruction." --Conan O'Brien



"Now, here's my question, and no offense here, but where was the Secret Service? I mean, shouldn't they at least have jumped in front of the second shoe? I mean, you know what I'm saying? Come on. Seriously. Aren't these guys supposed to take a bullet for the president?" --Jay Leno

"See, that's when Bush realized he was on his way out, when the Secret Service are going, 'Yeah, we're guarding the new guy now.'" --Jay Leno

"Well, here's my favorite part. Cable news just over-thinks this. On CNN, they brought in an expert on Iraqi culture. And he said, 'Let me clarify what happened here.' He said, 'In the Arab world, throwing your shoes at someone's head is considered an insult.' Oh, really? As opposed to here in America, where it's a huge compliment." --Jay Leno

"Well, the interesting thing was the journalist who threw the shoe was immediately arrested, and then offered his own show on MSNBC." --Jay Leno

"Well, the Bush administration said they are ready to step in now and help the auto industry. And believe you me, whenever the Bush administration gets involved in something, it is solved immediately. So, I think we'll be fine on that front." --Jay Leno

"Well, the latest talk is that Caroline Kennedy wants to be appointed to Hillary Clinton's Senate seat. She wants Hillary Clinton's Senate seat. In fact, today, Caroline Kennedy got a call from Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich saying, 'How much you willing to pay for it?'" --Jay Leno

"In an unprecedented move, the Illinois Attorney General has asked the High Court to strip Governor Bla-son-of-a-bitch -- is that his name? I can never get it right -- of his powers and declare him unfit. See, that would never happen here in California. See, they would declare our governor too fit." --Jay Leno

"And at a press conference this week, Jesse Jackson Jr., who is Candidate Number 5 for the Senate seat, strongly denied that he did anything wrong or improper. But now people are saying his brother might be involved. They say Jesse Jackson Jr. could be punished politically for what his brother did, to which Jeb Bush said, 'Tell me about it!'" --Jay Leno

"And speaking on ABC's Sunday morning show, 'This Week,' John McCain said that Sarah Palin could not necessarily count on his support if she runs for president in 2012. McCain said 'we have some other great, young governors out there.' Yeah, too bad he didn't pick one of them to run with." --Jay Leno

"Now here's something that gives you a pause for thought. Over the weekend, a church that Sarah Palin attended was burned. Somebody set fire to the church. Very serious, disturbing. As a matter of fact, they are looking for a guy. And they think it's Joe the Arsonist. That's who they are looking for." --David Letterman

"Bush is in Baghdad, he's having a press conference, and a guy, a reporter from Iraq jumps up and starts heaving shoes at the guy. And in Iraqi, or Arabic, he starts screaming, 'Here's your farewell kiss, you dog!' That's what the guy says. I mean, it was the same goodbye I got from NBC." --David Letterman

"The man who threw his shoes at President Bush is being hailed as a hero in Iraq. In fact, when he dies, he'll be greeted in heaven by 72 podiatrists." --Conan O'Brien

"It's been reported that former President Clinton may have to testify at Hillary Clinton's confirmation hearing. That's right. Clinton says, 'This time, when I say 'I did not have sexual relations with that woman,' it'll be true." --Conan O'Brien

"You know who it is a great day for? Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich, who still has his job. He didn't resign. Everyone thought he would. Looks like his plan is to keep hanging on, even though the game is over. Political experts call this strategy 'the Hillary Clinton.'" --Craig Ferguson

"Of course, the big story over the weekend is that President Bush had that press conference in Iraq, which turned into 'Shoe-pocalypse Now.'" --Craig Ferguson

"When a journalist throws his shoes at the President, if you're a late night talk show host, you go, 'Aaahhh!' Good times. It's like when Cheney shot his lawyer. You go: 'Aaaahhhh! Well, that's tonight's show taken care of.'" --Craig Ferguson

"Bush was amazing. You see how quickly Bush got out of the way? Bush has been accused of dodging issues in the past, but who knew he could actually dodge shoes?" --Craig Ferguson

"Bush is 62 years old, but he still has the reflexes of a cat. Mind you, I think his head has been on a swivel ever since Cheney shot his lawyer." --Craig Ferguson

"You know, the shoe-throwing incident has made Sarah Palin want to be president even more. 'Free shoes? You betcha!'" --Craig Ferguson

"Anyway, the conspiracy theories have begun. Oliver Stone is already making a movie about the shoe-throwing incident. He thinks there was a second shoe-thrower, because that journalist threw two shoes in four seconds. That's impossible." --Craig Ferguson

"The irony of all of this is of course that this shoe-throwing incident is as close as we'll ever get to finding weapons of mass destruction in Iraq." --Craig Ferguson

"The shoe-throwing journalist has got his supporters because today in Iraq, thousands of people took to the streets. They were all chanting in unison all day long. And do you know what they were chanting? Now I'm not making this up. They were chanting, 'Bush, Bush listen well, two shoes on your head!' Well, I think the President must be devastated by that. If John Kerry had used that chant four years ago, he would have won!" --Craig Ferguson

"What kind of chant is that? If there's an Iraqi Doctor Seuss, he must be terrible. 'One fish, two fish, seven dogs run on a lawn.'" --Craig Ferguson

"The bright side to all of this is the Iraqi economy must be going well if a guy can afford to throw a perfectly good pair of shoes. Journalists over here can't even afford a pair of flip-flops." --Craig Ferguson

"The shoe-throwing journalist is in jail. He didn't think this through, though. I mean, if you're a journalist and you're unhappy with a politician, why don't you just write something down? You're a journalist! You can even get it printed in a newspaper! Doesn't he know that the pen is mightier than the shoe?" --Craig Ferguson


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Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Political Roast-Late Night Political Jokes-12/13/08



"Five years ago tomorrow, I believe, you know what it was? We have an anniversary. They captured Saddam Hussein. Captured Saddam Hussein. Yeah. You know who gets a really big kick out of that? ... Bin Laden. He just thinks that's the funniest thing" --David Letterman

"President Bush's term is winding down, and all these articles are coming out, very strange articles about him. According to an article that just came out in a fitness magazine ... the president often rides a stationary bike on-board Air Force One. That's true. Advisors say he pedals really hard because he thinks he's powering the plane." --Conan O'Brien

"The Blagojevich scandal continues. Earlier this week, of course, Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich was accused of auctioning off a Senate seat to the highest bidder. Now his approval rating is at 8%. Yeah, when he heard this, Blagojevich said, 'Eight? Do I hear a nine? 10?" --Conan O'Brien

"When Vice President-elect Biden takes office next month, he's going to have a new family member on hand: a German Shepherd puppy. Biden has had three German Shepherds in the past, and he likes them because they're smart and they're quick learners. Which will come in handy, because as you know, the vice president's dog is always standing by in case President Obama's dog becomes incapacitated." --Jimmy Kimmel

"And this particular dog, he's only a month old. Already, Biden taught him a trick. He already learned how to put his foot in his mouth. Isn't that cute?" --Jimmy Kimmel


"And not only will the new puppy serve as a pet, until he gets big enough to be home alone, he will also serve as the vice president's toupee [on screen: a photo of Biden with the puppy sitting on his head]." --Jimmy Kimmel

"The Obama girls are getting a puppy, Biden is getting a German Shepherd puppy, and Hillary Clinton will do all the spaying and neutering." --Jimmy Kimmel

"Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich was arrested Tuesday for trying to sell Barack Obama's vacant Senate seat. When agents arrived at his house, Blagojevich asked for five minutes to pack up his things, and eight hours to brush his hair." --Amy Poehler

"Prosecutors said Tuesday there is no evidence that Barack Obama was involved in the Blagojevich scandal. Or, as Fox News reported it, 'Is Barack Obama involved in the Blagojevich scandal?'" --Amy Poehler

"Barack Obama this week named Nobel Prize-winning physicist Steve Chu as his energy secretary, unless he was just sneezing." --Amy Poehler

Monday, December 15, 2008

Iraqi Shoe thrower Hates U.S., Iran and Cheap Shoes


Below is an article about Iraqi Shoe Thrower:

I feel he really was unhappy with the U.S.,but more so by the cheap shoes he purchased. The backs of the shoe were digging into his heels and he just flipped out.
It has happened to all of us.

Cheap shoes suck, especially if they are made of camel hair.

Family: Shoe thrower hates both US, Iran role

BAGHDAD – The Iraqi TV reporter who hurled his shoes at George W. Bush was kidnapped once by militants and, separately, detained briefly by the U.S. military. Over time, Muntadhar al-Zeidi, a 28-year-old unmarried Shiite, came to hate both the U.S. military occupation and Iran's interference in Iraq, his family told The Associated Press on Monday.

Al-Zeidi's act of defiance Sunday transformed an obscure reporter from a minor TV station into a national hero to many Iraqis fed up with the nearly six-year U.S. presence here, but also fearful that their country will fall under Iran's influence once the Americans leave.

Several thousand people demonstrated in Baghdad and other cities to demand al-Zeidi's release. The attack was the talk of the town in coffee shops, business offices and even schools — and a subject across much of the Arab world. A charity run by the daughter of Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi bestowed a medal of courage on al-Zeidi, calling on the Iraqi government to free him.

Al-Zeidi was held Monday in Iraqi custody for investigation and could face charges of insulting a foreign leader and the Iraqi prime minister, who was standing next to Bush. Conviction carries a sentence of up to two years in prison or a small fine — although it's unlikely he would face the maximum penalty given his newfound cult status in the Arab world.

Bush was not hit or injured in the attack, and Iraqi security guards wrestled al-Zeidi to the ground immediately after he tossed his shoes. White House press secretary Dana Perino suffered an eye injury when she was hit in the face with a microphone during the melee....More

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Man throws shoes at Bush in Iraq


Man throws shoes at Bush in Iraq

BAGHDAD (AP) - A man threw his shoes at President George W. Bush and was dragged away by security officials during the president's farewell trip to Iraq.

The incident occurred as Bush was appearing Sunday with Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki.

Bush ducked and wasn't hit by either shoe. Bush joked, saying that all he can report was that it was a size 10 shoe. then calmly took questions.




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The Political Roast Of Governor Blagojevich By Jay Leno




Yesterday was Governor -- is it Blagojevich or Bla-son-of-a-bitch? -- it was his birthday. You know what sign Blagojevich was born under? 'For sale.' I believe that was the sign." --Jay Leno

"Actually, it's getting pretty serious. President-elect Barack Obama has called for Blagojevich to resign, but he refused. He refused a directive from the next President of the United States, to which Hillary Clinton said, 'So?'" --Jay Leno

"And of course, the bad news for Governor Blagojevich is that there's no chance President Bush will pardon him because Bush can't even pronounce his name." --Jay Leno

"People close to the case talked about Blagojevich. They said that he was willing to do anything for money. That's why he was going to sell the Senate seat. See, that is so wrong. You know, in this country -- let me tell you something. If you want money, you do what everybody else does, okay? You go to Congress and you demand a bailout. That's what we do." --Jay Leno

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Political Roast Of Gov. Rod Blagojevich-Cartoons




"Hey, you probably saw this on the news. A very embarrassing moment at the Illinois State Capitol today. Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich attended the opening of the nativity scene. And when the three wise men showed up with gifts for the baby Jesus, Blagojevich demanded half the loot." --Jay Leno







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Friday, December 12, 2008

Political Roast Late Night Political Jokes by Jay Leno


How many people in our studio audience got your seats tonight because you paid off Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich?" --Jay Leno

"Illinois Governor Rod Bla-son-of-a-bitch, is that how you say his name? Is it Bla-son-of-a-bitch? I think I'm saying that right. He was arrested for conspiring to sell the Senate seat vacated by Barack Obama. ... Let me tell you something. You know, you don't buy a Senate seat in this country. You take up donations. You go out. You lie to the American people. You make promises you are never going to keep. That's how you get to be a United States Senator." --Jay Leno

"And I love this story. Congress wants to appoint a government car czar to oversee the auto companies. Today, President Bush said, 'Car czar? Isn't he the president of Afghanistan?'" --Jay Leno


"Anyway, Congress wants to appoint someone to oversee the auto industry because they lack confidence that the car companies can solve the problem themselves. You know, the same way the Senate Budget Committee kept us within a budget, remember? And the way the banking committee kept the banks from failing. And the way the Senate Energy Committee made us energy independent. We need these kinds of oversights." --Jay Leno

"Don't you love watching congressmen lecture auto executives on how to run their business? I mean, you got people that put us a trillion dollars in debt lecturing people who put us a billion dollars in debt." --Jay Leno

"Barack Obama said that he will not smoke cigarettes while he's in the Oval Office. He's kind of a closet smoker. So, he said he wouldn't smoke. And President Bush actually defended him today. President Bush said he smokes a cigar on rare occasions. He says it helps him think. Apparently it's a very rare occasion." --Jay Leno

"And President Bush talked about his religious believes on ABC's 'Nightline' the other night. When the host asked Bush if he was a literalist when it came to the bible, Bush said, no, no, he's actually a Methodist." --Jay Leno

"And today, in Hollywood, some same-sex marriage supporters urged people to call in gay and not go to work to show how much our country relies on the gay and lesbian people in the workforce. Interesting idea, but it kind of backfired here in Hollywood. When they called in, there was nobody there to answer the phone." --Jay Leno

"So, how does that work? When you call in gay to take the day off, do you have to prove it? Do you have to have a note from another gay guy? Does the note have to be signed and notarized by another gay person to make sure?" --Jay Leno

"But today, Senator Larry Craig called in not gay. Actually, he tapped the message in code with his foot." --Jay Leno

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Stupid News

Political Roast Late Night Political Jokes by Jay Leno

How many people in our studio audience got your seats tonight because you paid off Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich?" --Jay Leno



"Illinois Governor Rod Bla-son-of-a-bitch, is that how you say his name? Is it Bla-son-of-a-bitch? I think I'm saying that right. He was arrested for conspiring to sell the Senate seat vacated by Barack Obama. ... Let me tell you something. You know, you don't buy a Senate seat in this country. You take up donations. You go out. You lie to the American people. You make promises you are never going to keep. That's how you get to be a United States Senator." --Jay Leno



"And I love this story. Congress wants to appoint a government car czar to oversee the auto companies. Today, President Bush said, 'Car czar? Isn't he the president of Afghanistan?'" --Jay Leno



"Anyway, Congress wants to appoint someone to oversee the auto industry because they lack confidence that the car companies can solve the problem themselves. You know, the same way the Senate Budget Committee kept us within a budget, remember? And the way the banking committee kept the banks from failing. And the way the Senate Energy Committee made us energy independent. We need these kinds of oversights." --Jay Leno



"Don't you love watching congressmen lecture auto executives on how to run their business? I mean, you got people that put us a trillion dollars in debt lecturing people who put us a billion dollars in debt." --Jay Leno



"Barack Obama said that he will not smoke cigarettes while he's in the Oval Office. He's kind of a closet smoker. So, he said he wouldn't smoke. And President Bush actually defended him today. President Bush said he smokes a cigar on rare occasions. He says it helps him think. Apparently it's a very rare occasion." --Jay Leno



"And President Bush talked about his religious believes on ABC's 'Nightline' the other night. When the host asked Bush if he was a literalist when it came to the bible, Bush said, no, no, he's actually a Methodist." --Jay Leno



"And today, in Hollywood, some same-sex marriage supporters urged people to call in gay and not go to work to show how much our country relies on the gay and lesbian people in the workforce. Interesting idea, but it kind of backfired here in Hollywood. When they called in, there was nobody there to answer the phone." --Jay Leno



"So, how does that work? When you call in gay to take the day off, do you have to prove it? Do you have to have a note from another gay guy? Does the note have to be signed and notarized by another gay person to make sure?" --Jay Leno



"But today, Senator Larry Craig called in not gay. Actually, he tapped the message in code with his foot." --Jay Leno

Political Roast-Late Night Political Jokes From Jimmy Kimmel


"Joe the plumber is back in the news today. Joe the plumber, even though he spent several weeks on a bus campaigning with John McCain, he told Glenn Beck last night that he felt 'dirty' after discussing the issues with him. I don't know how to tell you this, Joe, but of course you felt dirty. You work in other people's toilets." --Jimmy Kimmel

"He said some of the stuff coming out of McCain's mouth was so appalling he almost got off the bus, and the only reason he didn't is because he knew if he walked off the bus, he would be forced to return to his normal life as a simple, tax-evading fame whore." --Jimmy Kimmel

"But Joe actually did have praise for McCain's running mate, Sarah Palin. He called her the real deal. That's great, I'm glad they got along. And they're perfect for each other, in a way. In fact, they're actually starring in a new movie together. I don't know if you've heard, it's called 'Dumb and Plumber.'" --Jimmy Kimmel

Political Roast-Political Jokes-Conan O'Brien


"Rod Blagojevich was arrested for trying to sell a seat in the Senate to the highest bidder. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. And folks, if convicted, he could wind up in prison, where his seat will be sold to the highest bidder." --Conan O'Brien

"President-elect Barack Obama, today, called for Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich to resign. Blagojevich said, 'I'll do that if the price is right.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Speaking of Governor Blagojevich. Today -- coincidence -- today is his birthday. So for the second day in a row, Federal agents jumped out and yelled, 'Surprise!'" --Conan O'Brien

"This week, the White House sent out a memo listing President Bush's successes and accomplishments. Actually, it's not so much a memo as it is a Post-it note." --Conan O'Brien

"A plan to bail out the Big Three automakers stalled in Congress today. Yeah. As a result, Congress plans to buy a better-built Japanese bailout plan." --Conan O'Brien

Political Roast-Political Jokes-Jon Stewart,Craig Ferguson,Stephen Colbert


"Big news from Washington today. Even though it may make some people uncomfortable, President-elect Obama says he'll use his full name, Barack Hussein Obama, when he's sworn in next month. To show support, Joe Biden is also using his full name, Joseph Adolph Fidel Puppykiller Biden." --Craig Ferguson

"It is not all bad news for Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich, because today is his birthday. If you want to get Blagojevich a present, you can't go wrong with a good lawyer." --Craig Ferguson

"So what did this cat Blagojevich do, other than his childhood work as the model for Bob's Big Boy? [on screen: photo of Bob's Big Boy]. [on screen: a montage of news reports outlining Blagojevich's crimes]. Actually, let me just make this simpler. What isn't he being charged with? [on screen: a quote from the movie 'Fletch Lives,' in which a character saying 'Molesting a dead horse']. I assume that's hyperbole. Currently, he hasn't done anything that rises to the same level of evil as necrophilic beastiality [on screen: reports that Blagojevich withheld funds for a children's hospital because he didn't get the $50,000 in campaign donations he wanted from the director]. You're better off f***ing a dead horse. Blagojevich was shaking down a children's hospital. No doubt under the auspices of his charitable foundation, 'Take-a-Wish.' They kill sick children's dreams." --Jon Stewart

"Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzpatrick summed up the obvious [on screen: Fitzpatrick saying, 'There's politics and there's crime, and sometimes, I think when people get in trouble, they try and blur those lines']. Yes, you can get in trouble if you blur the line between politics and crime. Although, I can safely say you can get in trouble for blurring the line between anything and crime" --Jon Stewart

"Now, perhaps the toughest thing for Governor Blagojevich is that today, December 10, is his birthday. ... First, indicted Senator Ted Stevens loses the Alaska election recount on his birthday. And now this. In fact, Hallmark has come up with a new category of cards birthdays/federal indictments. I've got one right here. 'Hey, you're not over the hill, you're in federal custody!' Big sellers." --Stephen Colbert

David Letterman's Top Ten-Rod Blagojevich's



"You folks excited about the holidays? Remember Sarah Palin? She is so excited about the holidays she held a press conference today to announce that from her house she can see the North Pole." --David Letterman

"We're not kidding about this economy, which is so bad that Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich had to mark down the price of a Senate seat 40%." --David Letterman

"But did you hear about this guy? Blagojevich is charged with corruption and apparently he was stealing a lot of money, getting a lot of bribes and kickbacks and hiding them in his hair." --David Letterman

"But you know what he was doing? Because Barack Obama is the President-elect who used to be one of the senators from Illinois, Blagojevich has got to appoint a senator. So he was calling up people, saying, 'Would you like to be a senator. Well, what's it worth to you?' Well, I just hope to God this doesn't tarnish the fine reputation of Illinois politics." --David Letterman

"One guy, he was going to charge 150,000 dollars for the Senate seat, 200,000 dollars for the cup holder." --David Letterman

David Letterman's Top Ten Messages Left on Rod Blagojevich's Answering Machine

10. For 10 grand can you make me Pope?
9. Hello, is this the Blog-o-bloga-a-da-go-bl-vipivh residence?
8. Hi, it's O.J. Wanna be cellmates?
7. Oh, I'm sorry, I think I have the wrong Blagojevich.
6. Hi, it's Larry Craig -- did I hear something about a Senator's seat being available?
5. I'm calling about your Senate seat on Craigslist. Want to trade for a futon?
4. Hey, it's Cheney -- Damn even I think you're sleazy.
3. You really Blagojevich'd your political career.
2. I'm guessing you didn't spend the bribe money on that haircut.
1. It's Sarah Palin. Thanks for replacing me as the country's most embarrassing governor

Co. buys back Bush library domain name for $35K


Co. buys back Bush library domain name for $35K

DALLAS – George W. Bush's presidential library domain name has been retrieved after a Web developing company accidentally let it expire — and it apparently came at a high price.

Raleigh, N.C.-based Illuminati Karate paid less than $10 for the http://www.GeorgeWBushLibrary.com domain name and sold it back earlier this year for $35,000 to the library's contracted Web developers, Yuma Solutions, said George Huger, lead Web developer for Illuminati Karate.

Mark Mills, owner of Yuma Solutions, did not immediately return calls seeking comment Thursday.

The Tallahassee, Fla.-based company has a history with the Bush family, hosting Web sites for Bush's 2000 campaign and for Florida Gov. Jeb Bush's 1998 and 2002 campaigns.

Records indicate that in March 2007, the George W. Bush Library Foundation, using Yuma Solutions as its contractor, bought the domain name from a private citizen for $3,000. But the registration was set to expire within a few months.

Huger said he grabbed the library name, seeing its potential, while searching through a public list of names that were about to expire, The Dallas Morning News reported in Thursday.

Months later, Huger had received some offers on it, but he declined to provide details.

After the Morning News reported that the library had lost the domain, Mills contacted Illuminati Karate and asked to buy it back, Huger said.

At the time, a library foundation spokesman said officials were unaware that the name had been lost.

Yuma finally reached a deal to buy the Web address back for $35,000, which the company, not the library foundation, apparently paid, Huger said. The site changed hands in April and won't expire until 2013.

Mark Langdale, president of the George W. Bush Library Foundation, said he didn't know about the Web site being lost and recovered. But, he said, he would know if the library had been stuck with a surprise $35,000 expenditure.

The George W. Bush Presidential Center — which will include a library, museum and public policy institute — is being built at Southern Methodist University in Dallas.
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Bleep! Illinois governor recordings show colorful language


CHICAGO (Reuters) – What the bleep?

An allegation that Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich conspired to sell President-elect Barack Obama's seat in the U.S. Senate to the highest bidder isn't the only shocker contained in the 76-page criminal complaint unveiled by the FBI on Tuesday.

Excerpts of tape-recorded conversations between the governor, his wife and various advisers contained in the complaint showed Blagojevich frequently using language that would have made Chicago's own Al Capone blush as he allegedly plotted to use public office for private gain.

Patrick Fitzgerald, the poker-faced federal prosecutor heading the case, used the word "bleep" several times as he gave details of the expletive-laced conversations during a news conference announcing corruption charges against Blagojevich.

Talking about Blagojevich's alleged effort to get a person benefiting from a $1.8 billion tollway project to raise $100,000 for him, Fitzgerald said the governor told an aide: "'I could have made a larger announcement but wanted to see how they would perform by the end of the year. If they don't perform, bleep 'em.' That's a quote. And the word 'bleep' was not the word he used.'"

The document cited by Fitzgerald gave other details, this time using the word 'expletive,', rather than 'bleep.'

"I can drive a hard bargain. You hear what I'm saying. And if I don't get what I want and I'm not satisfied with it, then I'll just take the Senate seat myself," the governor allegedly said of filling the U.S. Senate seat, speaking with a person identified only as Advisor A the day before the November 4 election that Obama won.

A Senate seat, "is a (expletive) valuable thing, you just don't give it away for nothing," the document cited him as saying.

Blagojevich is meant to fill the Senate seat that Obama vacated soon after his election win. Both men are Democrats, although Obama had long kept his distance from the governor of his home state.

A week after the election, the charges cite a conversation with his chief of staff, John Harris, in which Blagojevich said he knew that backers of Obama wanted "Senate Candidate 1" for the open seat but "they're not willing to give me anything except appreciation. them."

Fitzgerald said there was no evidence of any discussions between Obama and Blagojevich on the open Senate seat.

Obama also told reporters: "I had no contact with the governor or his office and so I was not aware of what was happening. But as I said it is a sad day for Illinois."

According to the document, Blagojevich was similarly forceful in his language when speaking about how he wanted to see his editorial critics on the Chicago Tribune newspaper fired.

The charges against Blagojevich weren't about the swearing, of course.

But it was all reminiscent of the transcripts of tapes of former President Richard Nixon's Oval Office conversations that surfaced during the 1970s Watergate scandal. The one phrase from those transcripts that everyone recalls?

"Expletive deleted."
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Wednesday, December 10, 2008

This is so Cheesey! The Car Czar! All Hail The Car Czar!!! WTF




Who Will Be The Auto Czar? What will he look like? Will he have a cape, a sash and a scepter?

If the deal between congressional Democrats and the White House to give Detroit's automakers $14 billion in emergency loans becomes law, President Bush will appoint a car "czar" who will be responsible for overseeing how the money is spent.

HELP WANTED: Someone who knows how to spend $14 billion.

If a bill to provide $14 billion in emergency loans to the Big Three U.S. automakers is passed by Congress and signed by President Bush, a government "car czar" will given the task of handing out the taxpayers' cash.

The czar will also have the power to force any of the Detroit carmakers into bankruptcy in the spring if they haven't cut quick deals with labor unions, creditors and others to restructure their businesses and become viable.

But some lawmakers think a "czar" should have more power than that.

"The car czar that they put in this bill, first of all, doesn't have a lot power -- has a lot of ability to suggest things -- but doesn't have enough power to cause the restructuring," said Sen. John Ensign, R-Nevada, who opposes an auto bailout and would prefer to see the companies in Chapter 11 bankruptcy....More

Honest woman finds $97K in restroom, returns it


MURFREESBORO, Tenn. – A Murfreesboro woman says she returned $97,000 she claims to have found in a Cracker Barrel restroom, but police said Tuesday they have no report of the find. Billie Watts, 75, told The Daily News Journal that she discovered the money inside a tapestry bag hanging from a hook on a stall door last Thursday.

But five days later, the money and its anonymous owner remain something of a mystery in the community, where police said that they have no report of the find.

While digging through the bag to figure out its owner, Watts says she found a bundle of neatly stacked $1,000 bills.

Watts said she and her husband took the money home, but later called the restaurant back and asked if there was a lost-and-found department. She was told yes, and left her number.

A woman called about 15 minutes later and verified she was the owner by identifying pictures left in the bag. Watts returned the bag to the owner, whom she described as an elderly woman, but said she does not have the woman's last name or phone number.

Watts said the woman told her that the money came from selling her home and her belongings and that she was going to start a new life in Florida with her son. Watts says the woman offered to pay her $1,000, but Watts refused it.

A manager of the Cracker Barrel restaurant, Bill Shupp, said no employees actually saw the money or the elderly owner

Information from: The Daily News Journal, http://www.dnj.com

For bid on eBay: 1 Ill. Senate seat, slightly worn


CHICAGO – For sale: One Senate seat. Goes to the highest BLEEP-ing bidder. Seller's positive feedback rating: since Tuesday, just about zero.

Outraged by the arrest of Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich, more than a dozen people have put the state's vacant Senate seat up for bid on eBay.

The offers popped up on the Internet auction site after Blagojevich was accused Tuesday of trying to benefit financially from his power to appoint a Senate replacement to President-elect Barack Obama.

Daniel Finnegan, a student at the University of Georgia, said he started an auction because he's "extremely upset about what happened" and wants to voice his opinion.

Finnegan says he's glad others posted similar auctions so the accusations against Blagojevich don't go unnoticed.

University of Illinois student Matt Platino says he posted his entry to be funny, but also because he's upset with Blagojevich.

At least one seller carefully noted the ad was "not an offer for actual US Senate seat. ... For entertainment purposes only."

Another wound up with a similar disclaimer, but not before unloading on the gov: "OPEN YOUR CHECKBOOKS, OR PUT THE THUMBSCREWS ON SOMEONE TO GIVE A HIGH PAYING EXECUTIVE JOB TO AN ASSININE, GREEDY VINDICTIVE POL OR HIS WIFE."

And folks are bidding, some jokingly. One posting ("Used Illinois Senate seat, all wood and leather, willing to deal on this one! Please be advised I will be away from my office for a while..."), had 78 bids and was going for $99,999,999.00 Wednesday morning.

New pro American website-Boycott Alabama Now-boycottalabamanow.com


Here is another New pro American website-Boycott Alabama Now-www.boycottalabamanow.com
From Site:
This site has been developed by a grassroots number of true Americans who have had enough with uninformed politicians who are not helping the domestic auto industry, in this case Senator Richard Shelby of Alabama. Members of our website hold no grudges against all of the hard working people who live in the wonderful state of Alabama. However, it is time to fight back for America and the only way to do it is with our wallets. Our objective is to demonstrate to the senator what happens when a part of America is not supported; therefore we are launching a nationwide boycott of Alabama. It is clear to most Americans that the Big Three must obtain loans in an effort to get through this economic mess (much of which was caused by our illustrious Mr. Shelby, Mr. Barney Frank and many others who failed to prevent the banking industry from going belly up). And to the great people of Alabama, please keep in mind; we didn’t start this mess, our government did.







Contact:Senator Richard Shelby--ph: 202-224-5744

Email




communications@bcatoday.org
(This is the Alabama Chamber of Commerce)
ph: 334-834-6000

Check it out and Support America

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

The Daily Show-Jon Stewart-Terrorist Interrogator


The Daily Show-Jon Stewart
Intro - Terrorist Interrogator
Matthew Alexander is a pseudonym, and yet he'll be on television.
Read More To Watch Video!


The Daily Show
Intro - Terrorist Interrogator
Matthew Alexander is a pseudonym, and yet he'll be on television.





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Political Roast-Late Night Political Jokes



"It looks like Barack Obama has been giving jobs to all the Democrats who ran against him for president. You've got Joe Biden, he got vice president. Hillary Clinton, secretary of state, Bill Richardson, he ran against him, he got commerce secretary. And today, he even hired Dennis Kucinich to play the elf at next year's White House Christmas party." --Jay Leno

"And, according to the New York Times, former president Bill Clinton says he is open to the possibility of a role in the Barack Obama administration. Well, actually, what he said was, he was looking for a desk job. I don't know what that means." --Jay Leno

"Barack Obama announced Wednesday that New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson is his choice for secretary of commerce, which should be an easy job, now that there isn't any." --Seth Meyers

"The head of Regal Entertainment says as the recession gets worse, more people are coming to the movies. Because nothing helps you forget your troubles like a $5 Sprite" --Seth Meyers


"The runoff in the Georgia Senate race was won this week by Saxby Chambliss, who is the incumbent Republican senator and not, as I believed, an obscure font." --Amy Poehler

"Some bad economic news today. They estimate more than a half a million Americans lost their jobs last month. Unemployment is now at 6.7 percent, that is the highest since 1993. In layman's terms, that means almost one in ten Americans know what it's like to be K-Fed." --Jimmy Kimmel