David Letterman's Top Ten-Rod Blagojevich's

"You folks excited about the holidays? Remember Sarah Palin? She is so excited about the holidays she held a press conference today to announce that from her house she can see the North Pole." --David Letterman

"We're not kidding about this economy, which is so bad that Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich had to mark down the price of a Senate seat 40%." --David Letterman

"But did you hear about this guy? Blagojevich is charged with corruption and apparently he was stealing a lot of money, getting a lot of bribes and kickbacks and hiding them in his hair." --David Letterman

"But you know what he was doing? Because Barack Obama is the President-elect who used to be one of the senators from Illinois, Blagojevich has got to appoint a senator. So he was calling up people, saying, 'Would you like to be a senator. Well, what's it worth to you?' Well, I just hope to God this doesn't tarnish the fine reputation of Illinois politics." --David Letterman

"One guy, he was going to charge 150,000 dollars for the Senate seat, 200,000 dollars for the cup holder." --David Letterman

David Letterman's Top Ten Messages Left on Rod Blagojevich's Answering Machine

10. For 10 grand can you make me Pope?
9. Hello, is this the Blog-o-bloga-a-da-go-bl-vipivh residence?
8. Hi, it's O.J. Wanna be cellmates?
7. Oh, I'm sorry, I think I have the wrong Blagojevich.
6. Hi, it's Larry Craig -- did I hear something about a Senator's seat being available?
5. I'm calling about your Senate seat on Craigslist. Want to trade for a futon?
4. Hey, it's Cheney -- Damn even I think you're sleazy.
3. You really Blagojevich'd your political career.
2. I'm guessing you didn't spend the bribe money on that haircut.
1. It's Sarah Palin. Thanks for replacing me as the country's most embarrassing governor

For bid on eBay: 1 Ill. Senate seat, slightly worn

CHICAGO – For sale: One Senate seat. Goes to the highest BLEEP-ing bidder. Seller's positive feedback rating: since Tuesday, just about zero.

Outraged by the arrest of Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich, more than a dozen people have put the state's vacant Senate seat up for bid on eBay.

The offers popped up on the Internet auction site after Blagojevich was accused Tuesday of trying to benefit financially from his power to appoint a Senate replacement to President-elect Barack Obama.

Daniel Finnegan, a student at the University of Georgia, said he started an auction because he's "extremely upset about what happened" and wants to voice his opinion.

Finnegan says he's glad others posted similar auctions so the accusations against Blagojevich don't go unnoticed.

University of Illinois student Matt Platino says he posted his entry to be funny, but also because he's upset with Blagojevich.

At least one seller carefully noted the ad was "not an offer for actual US Senate seat. ... For entertainment purposes only."

Another wound up with a similar disclaimer, but not before unloading on the gov: "OPEN YOUR CHECKBOOKS, OR PUT THE THUMBSCREWS ON SOMEONE TO GIVE A HIGH PAYING EXECUTIVE JOB TO AN ASSININE, GREEDY VINDICTIVE POL OR HIS WIFE."

And folks are bidding, some jokingly. One posting ("Used Illinois Senate seat, all wood and leather, willing to deal on this one! Please be advised I will be away from my office for a while..."), had 78 bids and was going for $99,999,999.00 Wednesday morning.