Funny Political Jokes About President Obama

"That's pretty amazing, Obama winning the Nobel Peace Prize. Ironically, his biggest accomplishment as president so far: winning the Nobel Peace Prize." --Jay Leno

"The Nobel committee said he won for creating a new climate for international politics. which sounds so much nicer than 'In your face George Bush you cowboy a**hole.'" --Bill Maher

"President Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. The committee said they gave it gave it to Obama partly for his idealism and commitment to global cooperation, but mostly for calling Kanye West a jackass." --Conan O'Brien

"Conservatives say the award represents everything they stand against: black people, foreigners, and peace." --Bill Maher

"Obama said he will attend the ceremony in Oslo if he's not too busy with the two wars he's conducting." –Bill Maher

"I thought it was very ironic that he won the Nobel Prize for peace on a day we bombed the moon." --Bill Maher

"President Obama won the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize. The Nobel committee said they wanted to recognize the president's fine work in bringing peace to a black professor and a white cop through the strategic use of beer." --Jay Leno

"The President held a press conference tonight in prime time. All the major networks carried it, except Fox. They ran the show 'Lie to Me' instead. Fox is something -- they killed President David Palmer off on '24,' they put his brother, President Wayne Palmer, into a permanent coma and now this. What does Fox have against black Presidents?” --Jimmy Kimmel

“Today marks 100 days of President Obama being in office, which is a big deal because 100 days is when his warranty runs out. We couldn’t return him now even if we wanted to.” --Jimmy Kimmel

"President Barack Obama told his Cabinet yesterday to insure that every taxpayer dollar is spent wisely. But there was one embarrassing moment when he had to explain to the Cabinet what a taxpayer was." --Jay Leno

"President Obama should get a big refund this year because he has a lot of dependents. AIG, Citibank, Morgan Stanley -- all dependents." --Jay Leno

"Barack Obama's daughters are very smart. They told him they will take the same responsibility for the dog that he is taking for the economy. That way, if the dog leaves a mess in the White House, it'll be cleaned up by future generations." --Jay Leno

"Well, the wait is over. The Obamas have chosen a new White House dog. It is a Portuguese water dog named Bo. Very cute dog. Their first choice was a wheaten terrier, but it was arrested for tax evasion." --Jimmy Fallon

"President Obama made a surprise visit to Iraq this week where he declared it is time for Iraqis to take responsibility for their country. Said Iraqis, 'You guys first.'" --Seth Meyers

"So they gave the Queen an iPod. I remember when British Prime Minister Gordon Brown was here, the Obamas gave him a DVD box set. So, it looks like they're saving the big gift, the Nintendo, for the Pope." --Jay Leno

"As you know by now, the government is now taking an active role in the auto business. President Obama offering hope, change, and 0 percent financing." --Jay Leno

"It's a great day for our president, Barack Obama, who got to meet the Queen of England today. She very regally gave him a photograph of her, and he gave her an iPod! That's quite an unusual gift from the President. Usually he gives out about $150 million." --Craig Ferguson

"President Obama, by the way, is, I think, making his first presidential European trip. And while he's there in Europe, he plans to fire the CEO's of BMW and Volkswagen." --David Letterman

"Big day in Detroit. You may have heard about this. The Obama Administration asked General Motors C.E.O. Rick Wagoner to step down, and he agreed, which is good news for Obama. You know, the last time he tried to get someone to quit, it took months. And even then, he had to promise her a job as Secretary of State." --Jay Leno

"And in a speech in Anchorage, Alaska, Sarah Palin took kind of a cheap shot at her former running mate, John McCain. She said she couldn't find anyone to pray with during the campaign. She's not the only one. Between Jesse Jackson and Reverend Wright, Obama couldn't find anybody to pray with either." --Jay Leno

"Today, President Obama announced he is using his own money to redecorate the White House. Meanwhile, he is using taxpayers' money to redecorate the houses of A.I.G. executives." --Craig Ferguson

"Barack Obama is taking his first overseas trip as president tomorrow. He is headed to the G20 economic summit. And he's been rehearsing his opening line to foreign leaders. 'Hi, I'm not George Bush. Hi, I'm not George Bush.'" --Jimmy Fallon

"President Obama has announced a task force to review the tax codes. He's concerned there are too many loopholes and too many people manipulating the system to avoid paying taxes. And that's just in his administration." --Jay Leno

"How many watched the President's news conference last night? He got a little testy there, you know. When he was asked why he waited three days to speak out against the AIG bonuses, President Obama said he likes to know what he's talking about before he speaks. So, yet another reversal of the Bush policies." --Jay Leno

"Many people are complaining, though, that Obama is becoming too scripted. Last night, he was having an intimate moment with Michelle, and she said, 'Wait, are you reading the teleprompter?'" --Jimmy Fallon

"On '60 Minutes' the other night, if you saw the interview, reporter Steve Croft asked President Obama how he could laugh with all the financial trouble going on. And the President said it's necessary to have a measure of 'gallows humor to get you through the day.' You know why Obama likes gallows humor? It works much better for him than bowling humor." --Jay Leno

"After Barack Obama was on the show Thursday, I got a phone call from Joe Biden going, 'Wow, what was it like to talk to the President?'" --Jay Leno

Funny Internet Facts About President Obama-True Or Not?

1.) He won a Grammy Award in 2006 for Best Spoken Word Recording. It was for the audio version of his book Dreams From My Father.

2.) He and his wife bought a house in Chicago in 2005. Back then it cost $1.65 million. The house has 4 fireplaces.

3.) He doesn’t like ice-cream. He worked in Baskin-Robbins as a teenager. That’s where his distaste for ice-cream comes from.

4.) He loves playing Scrabble. He never commented on how good he is, though.

5.) He is bi-racial. He was born to a Kenyan father and a white American mother. In his book Dreams From My Father he writes that he barely noticed the racial difference between his mum and dad in his young age.

6.) He experimented with drugs. Back in his early years he tried marijuana and cocaine. According to his own words he is not proud of it and considers it a mistake as a young man.

7.) He smokes but wants to quit. After all, there is a non-smoking policy in the White House.

8.) He was born in Honolulu, Hawaii but went to live in Indonesia with his mum when the parents divorced. There he was introduced to dog meat, snake meat, and roasted grasshopper.

9.) According to his wife Michelle he is very romantic. He is not a door opener but he remembers every anniversary and brings her flowers all the time.

10.) Every night when he is at home he reads the Harry Potter books to his oldest daughter Malia.

Barack Obama Wins Big: "Change Has Come to America"

By Jay Newton-Small / Chicago

Barack Obama woke up this morning a candidate and emerged on the stage in Grant Park tonight the U.S. President.

Taking the stage to no music, Obama was sober and focused, underlining the problems he will face in the Oval Office and thanking his supporters, 125,000 of whom stood before him, for helping to elect him. "Above all, I will never forget who this victory truly belongs to — it belongs to you," Obama said. "I was never the likeliest candidate for this office. We didn't start with much money or many endorsements. Our campaign was not hatched in the halls of Washington — it began in the backyards of Des Moines and the living rooms of Concord and the front porches of Charleston."


Taking the stage to no music, Obama was sober and focused, underlining the problems he will face in the Oval Office and thanking his supporters, 125,000 of whom stood before him, for helping to elect him. "Above all, I will never forget who this victory truly belongs to — it belongs to you," Obama said. "I was never the likeliest candidate for this office. We didn't start with much money or many endorsements. Our campaign was not hatched in the halls of Washington — it began in the backyards of Des Moines and the living rooms of Concord and the front porches of Charleston."

Though the word race was on the tips of the tongues of everyone present, Obama did not dwell on the historic nature of the election, saying of the subject only, "If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible, who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time, who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer."

On one level, Obama's victory party was anything but intimate. When the gates opened, people poured in, many sprinting ahead to try to get as close as possible to the stage. Some plopped down on the field, staking their claim as their comrades foraged through long lines for deep-dish pizza, hot cocoa and water. Every time a state was called for Obama — or whenever Suzanne Malveaux, who was broadcasting live from Grant Park, came up on the screens — the crowd went nuts. The atmosphere felt like an upscale Lollapalooza, except the throbbing music came in staccato bursts between CNN's Wolf Blitzer calling states as the election returns came in. The weather was unseasonably warm, so Obama's followers could believe that even God is smiling down benevolently on the Illinois Senator.

On another level, those present were united in their belief that they were witnessing history. Standing in the crowd of 70,000, Sharon Glass, 48, was afraid to believe it was true — that an African American had really been elected President. "I keep waiting for something to happen that they say it's not right," said the Chicago hairstylist, who is African American.

Standing next to her was Theresa Hipp, 50. "This means that anybody can be President now — women, Latinos, blacks," said the registered nurse from Oak Park, Ill., who is white. Though the two women didn't know each other, when CNN announced on the jumbo screens that they were calling the race for Obama, they danced and hugged each other, tears in their eyes. All around them, the crowd went wild, chants of "Obama" turning to "Yes, we can."

To Jesse Jackson Sr., who broke barriers with his 1984 and '88 presidential bids, Obama's strength in the South showed how much the country has changed. "This is a huge deal and a big paradigm shift in the South," said Jackson, who arrived at Grant Park soon after the gates opened. During the primaries, former President Bill Clinton had belittled Obama's primary win in South Carolina by comparing it with Jackson's.

Senator Bob Casey of Pennsylvania said Obama's victory in his state put his mind at ease about racism in America, noting that Obama did much better with older and white voters in his state than anyone had thought possible a month ago. "I always thought there was a possible prejudice factor in the state," he said. "I hope what this means is that we've washed that away, not only in our state, but across the country."

For Oprah Winfrey, the television personality and Obama supporter, this is a "big moment for all of us." "I think he's going to do something for the world," she told a group of reporters standing before the VIP tent before doing a little jig. "This happened because we did this. We did this."

The stage in Grant Park was set to highlight the themes of the campaign: by holding the event outdoors and throwing the gates open to tens of thousands of supporters, the campaign emphasized the grass-roots nature of Obama's nearly two-year effort. The crowd was incredibly diverse, in terms of not only race but also age. There was a heavy emphasis on Chicago, from the stands hawking deep-dish pizza (a local specialty) to the setting on the banks of Lake Michigan in the heart of the city. Skyscrapers lining Grant Park featured U.S.A. and Vote 2008 written in office lights on them, and six spotlights spun dizzying patterns in the sky, adding to the movie-premiere feel of the night. Obama spoke from a podium before a semicircular row of 26 American flags, which lined a blue backdrop. On either side he was flanked by 10-by-15-ft. clear bulletproof walls, protecting him from potential snipers in the high-rise buildings that line the park.

The scene at John McCain's election-night gathering could not have been more different. For weeks, McCain's crowds had included what Sarah Palin might call "real Americans"— flag-waving red staters with hunting hats, facial hair and well-worn jeans. Classic rock and contemporary country music played at the events.

By contrast, McCain's election-night celebration had a country-club feel. The palm trees were lit with color-changing pastel lights, and the women in the crowd sipped wine in black cocktail dresses. The setting was the tony Arizona Biltmore Resort and Spa. McCain gave his address on the resort's lawn. The desert mountains were not lit, but colored spotlights astride a giant American flag provided a dynamic backdrop. More than 1,000 people cheered him on while an overflow ballroom broadcast the remarks a few hundred feet away. "Though we fell short, the failure is mine, not yours," he told the crowd, flanked by his wife Cindy, his running mate Sarah Palin and her husband Todd. "I would not be an American worthy of the name should I regret a fate that has allowed me the extraordinary privilege of serving this country for half a century."

Obama praised McCain for the race he ran and for his service to America. "I look forward to working with them to renew this nation's promise in the months ahead," Obama said of McCain and Palin. "The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even one term, but America—I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there. I promise you — we as a people will get there." Obama left the stage not to one of his bouncy campaign songs that got people clapping but to the serious theme of the movie Remember the Titans — sober music meant to underline the momentousness of the historic moment, when America elected its first black President.


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Funny Comedians----Pics For Myspace----Stupid News

Obama wins big, Democrats crush the Republicans! Now this election was a Political Roast!

Well the Republicans and The Democrats said come out and vote, well America did! They just happen to all vote Democratic!

The Republicans had no chance with the legacy of George W. Bush hanging over their party.

Although most Americans like John McCain, they have had it with the Republicans.

The Wall Street bailout scandal was the last straw!

It has been all doom and gloom with the War, Economic crisis,high gas prices,Wall Street Bailout,foreclosures....well you get my point, there was nothing positive McCain could point too that the Republicans did in the last 8 years.

The change has come, Good Luck President Obama!

Funny Comedians----Pics For Myspace----Stupid News